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John Wetton called at 08.50 to stay in touch. John knew of my move & was concerned to have a current number. My relationship with JW, above all else, is one of friendship.
Of the move, seeing my former home from the office window here I sit by & driving past it, I find that I feel no former connection to the property: it has gone. Bless you, and thanks. No regrets of being there, no regrets of leaving there. The connection is to my memories & experiences of our home of 11 years & 7 months, which are as rich as ever.
Yesterday, arranging this present room in World Central as my office, I found a photo of Beric, my father-in-law, Aunt Mary (his sister) & Edie sitting at the back of Reddish in 1988, our first year there. Yesterday a sense of loss. Today, a memory as rich as ever: nothing of my experience has been left behind in the move. Similarly, I haven't lost my Mother although I continue to miss her company. Probably, more than ever. As I mature, I appreciate her (and my Father) to a greater & deepening degree. Now at an age to converse with my parents, I talk to them. And sometimes they listen & respond, but silently.
So this evening, no sense of loss.
The house: it continues to be an exceptional house, which I am happily able to say has benefitted from our presence. But it no longer exerts a power on my feelings. As I stood behind Fripp & saw him deal with the enormous process of leaving, massive preparations & packing over nearly 2 months, I shared his feelings. It was very similar to the experience of Mother's dying. I won't bore generous Diary visitors with the details, other than to suggest that stages in any process are the same stages, whatever the particular process. Were a visitor to ask for a brief indication of what the two different events have in common, my reply in 3 syllables: death & resurrection.
Resurrection is itself a process, & my new life is not yet revealed or quite underway. Today, a gentle & active quiescence including tidying this room, discovering how to use the house's space & sleep on the floor, getting a haircut at Toni & Guy's in Salisbury, & seeing Star Wars (on impulse). Tomorrow, a visit to the annexe of our about-to-be new home where builders moved in yesterday. After 10 years of seeing more of builders at Reddish than Toyah, this time I'll wait until they move out.
And Peter Willis called at lunchtime. Now, at 22.40, Wolfie's string quartet No. 14 is reconstructing the room's atmosphere & I'm off to bed.
"We may understand our knowing, but we can't know our understanding."
